more today

I was a good girl and sat down and worked on the novel for a good while. That felt good. I am still trying to control my perfectionism and just go through and fix the major story line flaws I have discovered instead of doing nit-picking editing as I go along looking for plot gaps. It isn't always working, but I am trying. If nothing else, I am having fun with it. I know that is important. I also spent some time daydreaming today about what it would be like when I get this book done - and if I can get it published. I know that is a pie-in-the-sky dream, but it doesn't hurt to dream some. It's better than staring at the ground all the time! One thing I have noticed about my writing style as I have taken snippets with me to writer's club at the library is that I tend to be wordy - my colleagues frequently tell me to get to the point instead of leaving my readers hanging and thinking, "blah, blah, blah - what happens next?" That will be something to address more when I really am revising instead of just going back and fixing a few plot holes. I am leaving all the "blah-blah" in there for now because I don't know yet what I might be able to use for a twist in the story or some symbolism just yet. It doesn't come out of my brain perfectly carved and polished. It will get there, though.

got some done today

Well, I didn't get much done on Monday, mostly because I was still doing the tired thing. I did get some done today, though. Where I have been either tired or busy in the last little while, I had two weeks' worth of suggestions on about six pages of the novel. I went through and made the changes I thought would be helpful to keep the novel going in the right direction. At least I can claim to have done something today, right? I will keep on plugging away tomorrow - trying to get the story line straight some more and get to where I can plow forward with the rough draft.

subbing, among other things

This post might feel a little bit like a confession. Maybe I should start a procrastinator's anonymous club. Hello, my name is L and I procrastinated writing this week. (Hello, L). I had some decent reasons. We went to visit my sister B on my birthday since schools were closed for snow, and I subbed two days this week and had to get some routine blood work done another day. I have also been tired this week - I am still trying to figure out why. So I did not get a whole lot of anything done as far as writing goes. I have two weeks worth of pages from writer's club meetings with comments and suggestions that I still need to work into my novel. Right now, I am trying to convince myself not to berate myself too much. I had an off week, but that does not mean I cannot do better next week. I am trying to treat writing like a job, so I am leaving the weekends out of it unless there is something I want to jot down. I will start again on Monday trying to catch up and get back into the groove. Sometimes it feels like the groove is a high ideal, but I will continue to strive for it.

experimenting

I am still working on going back and fixing the elements of the story line thus far that are out of whack. It is harder to figure out how to measure progress when I am doing that than it is to measure progress on a rough draft - just looking at word count. Setting specific goals is helpful for me - both to maintain productivity and to prove to myself that I am making some progress. I guess I get to claim to be very goal-oriented. The best method I have figured out so far to measure progress as I work on revising is using a timer - working in fifteen minute spurts and seeing how many of those I can accomplish in a day. Doing too much more than fifteen minutes tends to cause me to get lost in what I am doing and feel overwhelmed, but spacing them out a little bit helps, and also gives my subconscious a chance to mull things over and come up with different ways to approach things. I am thinking a lot about methods for revising because I know it will be something I'll use a lot as I go along both in this novel and other ones I write later.

about perfectionism

I have been busy with a lot of different things. I have been substitute teaching, I have been getting other stuff done around the house. I think I have been procrastinating because I am feeling the influence of undue perfectionism. This is ironic, because as I have been thinking about it, the novel I am writing right now is essentially about perfectionism. A major theme is focusing so much on making things perfect that you end up messing things up beyond repair - or at least so difficult to repair that the one who made the mistake will never see things set right. As I write, when it is time to fix something that does not fit with the story line, it is difficult to go back and just fix it. I get stuck trying to fix everything before I go on. I want to set it all right before I go on. I forget that this is still a rough draft. The obsessive fixing needs to come later, after I have things laid out more. I am trying to be too perfectionistic while I write a novel that has at its core a theme of the danger of perfectionism. Ah, the joy of irony. I am going to try to go through and finish making the changes I need to make to get the story line back on track. Then I am going to continue to get the story line on the page. I don't want this bump in the road to stop me, even though I have been slacking for the past several days because I am not sure what I should do next. The only way to figure out what to do next is simply to try something. Today I will try something, then something else, then something else. I will get it done a single task at a time.

a pause - attack of the appointments!

I subbed a few times this week, as well as getting kidnapped and taken out to lunch. Next week, I have three different appointments: gynecologist, optometrist, and neurologist. I am feeling the lack of writing time, but as I have been waiting for the chance to write more, I have been mulling things over in my mind. I know I have a lot of changes to make in the novel to make it flow correctly; I feel like I'm tripping over a rug that needs to be straightened so it will lay flat on the ground again! I have made some notes on the sticky note computer program (J put that on my computer for me!) to help me keep track of what needs to be reviewed and altered. I think I may go back through and double check things a few times before I continue on. There isn't much point in continuing to write when you might be following a train of thought that is going to be cut out anyway. It is time to get my writing back on the right track again - time for the first round of revising and double-checking. I will let it be until after we finish traveling and visiting this weekend, and after I have conquered my appointments. In the meantime, I am expressing my creativity in the kitchen - I blanched, diced, and froze some tomatoes that would have gone bad if I left them in the fridge, and now I am getting ready to make some potsticker filling so the cabbage in the fridge doesn't go bad before we get back from all of our running amok.