less sunshine

The days are getting shorter, and that means my seasonal affective disorder is raging stronger and stronger. I keep telling myself it won't be too much longer until the winter equinox, and then the days will slowly start to get longer again. I have felt really down this year - curl up and cry on the couch and not feel like doing anything on some days. I know what I need to do to feel okay - things like light therapy, exercise, and writing all help me to feel more content and less depressed. It's just that some days there is a huge gap between knowing what I have to do to feel okay and having the desire to do it. Thus, I have not worked on my novel much in several days. I started exercising again yesterday, and that has helped my motivation. It also has my knee feeling a little better, even with all the cold air moving into our area. I think I may need to give myself a fresh start working on the novel - read back over what I have, review my outlines and plans, and write any other ideas that come to my mind. That will help me feel like I am not trying to push a tractor-trailer up a hill to get started again. Having a memory that does not work as well as it could makes it harder to write consistently - both time-wise and story line-wise. I am doing the best I can, though, and when my depression and my frustration at my funky memory don't get in the way, I enjoy myself.