still human

I haven't written a whole lot in the last while except for my morning scribbles - the free writing I do every morning when I am doing light therapy. I am experiencing the evidence that I am still human, and my health gets frail sometimes. I am trying not to get too frustrated by it. Epilepsy is decidedly not my favorite thing because when the balance gets thrown off, it can take a while and some finagling to get myself as close to functional as I can again. In the meantime, I am trying to do what I can, and trying to maintain the balance of feeling somewhat vaguely useful and not pushing my already stressed body and mind too much. I haven't been sleeping very well, and I've been having strange dreams, which is evidence that I am worrying too much about being on a downswing as far as my epilepsy goes. I've already gone through feeling frustrated about it this go-round. Now I am trying to focus more on what I can do, and trying to enjoy the down time. Not everyone gets forced down time like that. I don't always succeed in being as optimistic, but I am trying to be. If nothing else, there are a lot of blessings and positive things happening in my life too. I can observe everything that I see happening around me, even take some notes when something strikes, me, and when I feel a little better; when I don't feel so fuzz-brained and disconnected from the world as I do right now, perhaps I will write about it and find a story line in there.