almost done with the read-through

I am almost done with the read-through I've been doing of the novel to try to get back in my head where I was heading with things. It has helped a lot - I've been writing a summary as I went along to make sure I don't get lost again, and I have also been writing notes about plot themes and ideas I want to use later. It has been a good time to do it because I have been able to bring the hard copy with me to work when I get called in to sub at the school. The next step will be to take all the notes I've scribbled all over the hard copy and make those changes on the digital copy. Then I think I might actually be ready to go forward with the plot again. That will be both an exhilarating and a frightening experience. It is hard to switch from writer to editor and back again; they are two completely different modes of thought. I have been pursuing some other creative modes, or at least trying to. I have been knitting a lot - trying to make a bunch of stuff to sell at summer fairs and the like. I have also been trying to figure out a sewing pattern for cell phone holsters made out of recycled denim so i can make a bunch of those to sell as well. J succeeded in getting the tiller we inherited working, so now it is just a matter of figuring out where we want to put the garden exactly, and waiting for the rain to stop enough that we can till and prepare the yard to be turned into a garden. I thinned out the cabbage sprouts we have the other day, and most of them seem to be recovering well. J said they are fairly hardy plants, which is good, since I am working with them! I have a long history of not doing well in caring for plants. we shall see, I guess. I am doing a lot of creativity in the kitchen today - cooking up a chicken and dividing its meat among a few dishes to be frozen and served later. I am also making some bread and some english muffins. I will have a lot of dishes to wash today, I think. That is okay. Cooking is fun for me - one of the few times you can still make a big old mess without getting fussed at too much, and when I wash the dishes afterwards, I get to play with bubbles in the sink! It is the small stuff in life that is most enjoyable, right?

I have been plugging away at going over the draft of the novel thus far in a hard copy. I don't know if it is the warmer weather, or that I have gotten to a certain point where I feel the need to review, or a combination of those sorts of things, but going back through what I have so far is helping me get a better picture of where I am going with this project. I think it might be partly that I am trying to get what I have so far in long-term memory better. Whatever it is, I feel like I am actually making some progress now instead of just beating my head against the wall. As far as creativity for the outdoors goes, we have a lot of sprouts starting to come up. They are still in the sun porch, being protected from weather, and also waiting until the garden plot outside is ready. J got the tiller to start yesterday after slaving away at it for several evenings. I am proud of him for getting that figured out. I know I don't have nearly the capacity he does to look at things and how they are supposed to work and be able to figure out how to fix them. So far the sprouts I have coming up are peppers, cabbage, sunflowers, eggplant, and some melons. I think we are going to buy tomatoes that are already started because those are supposed to be really hard to start from seed. I have been knitting some - mostly pot scrubbers with the hope of selling them at different events over the summer. I am thinking about trying to figure out how to make a cell phone holder out of denim that has a loop so it can button onto a belt, belt loop, or purse strap. I am still working that out in my mind. We'll see what I can come up with.

I haven't posted in a while, mostly because it is prime substitute teacher season, and I have been busy. I have gotten some work done despite the subbing, though, since I decided to go with a hard copy of the novel draft - one that I can bring around with me (and bang against my head if necessary)! I have felt more like I know where I am going again after reading through some of it. As of today, I have gotten done reading through about eighty single-spaced pages of it so far, and written notes and ideas on there, as well as writing a summary on notebook paper for me to refer to as I go along, to make sure I don't get the story line too mixed up in my head. It is coming along better; even though I am not adding new stuff to the word count each day, I do feel like I am making progress again. That is reassuring. We are almost to the end of the school year now, so J will be home more before too long. He is still trying to convince the inherited tiller to work; his current suspicion is that it might have too much engine oil in it, and that is why the engine won't start. In the meantime, our seedlings are happily hanging out in small pots in the sun porch. I have a lot of cabbage sprouts, some sunflowers, lots of peppers, and melons and eggplant are also starting to sprout. It is fun to watch them grow and think I had a small part in their growth. Most of what I have been knitting these days is small pot scrubbers. I am hooked on using them instead of sponges because they are machine washable. After washing something like a greasy frying pan, it feels good to just stick it in the washing machine instead of trying to get it decent again with dish soap and running water. I am told that doing it this way doesn't give bacteria nearly the chance to grow, either. I am thinking about trying to sell some at craft fairs and summer events as the season goes on. I have a friend who does other handmade stuff to sell at those sorts of events, and he is willing to sell some stuff for me. I am also thinking about making some sort of cell phone holder out of recycled denim that can be buttoned to a purse strap or a belt loop, but that idea is still very much in the works. we'll see if I can figure it out.

Rediscovering the symbolism I was weaving in there

I got some decent work done today in going through and reviewing the draft thus far. I think one of the big things that had me stuck was that I had lost track of the symbolism and trains of meaning I had been weaving into the story line. So going back through and doing an edit/review thing is good right now. I am taking notes on the story line as I go, as well as the symbolism I want to keep using. I still have a long way to go in reading through and noting everything, but I am working on it. I like the idea of setting the timer for thirty minutes and doing a spurt of editing, then leaving it be for a while. If I feel up to doing another spurt later in the day, I can. If not, I will work on it more the next day. Editing feels like heavier work to me than writing a rough draft. I wonder if all writers feel that way, or if different writers are more skilled with different parts of the writing process. That would be an interesting question to ask of my fellow writers at the next writer's club meeting. I just have to succeed in remembering to ask it!
I have done more creative work in the kitchen today than I have in my novel. I made pumpkin bread and pumpkin muffins, as well as a pan of beef pot pie. I am subbing on Friday as well as Monday and Tuesday, so I figure I should have some food on hand to bring for lunches in the next few days.
We are also plotting some creativity in conjunction with nature - a garden in the backyard this year. So far, we just have seeds that we are starting inside. The cabbage and the sunflowers have started to sprout, and I can see the beginnings of a sprout for one of the peppers. J laughs at me when I say so, but I keep declaring the seedlings cute. It is fun to water them and watch them grow.

keep on plugging

I have been working on the plot to pick through the hard copy of my novel thus far. I am liking this process in part because it is more tactile and mobile. I can flip through pages rather than scrolling up and down on a screen, and I can scribble all over it as ideas and possibilities come to me. I remember feeling this way about writing plays when I was in high school too. I also like the mobility of it because I can take it with me as we get into substitute teaching season (everyone still has sick days and vacation days, and the end of the school year is approaching!). I am going to keep on plugging away at the hard copy of the novel draft. I am also knitting more. I found a good solution to my wrists feeling weak and tired. It involves stealing a tennis ball from the dog and squeezing it for five seconds at a time, ten reps per session, three sessions a day. I am doing a little physical therapy on myself that way. I tack it on at the end of my little interval workouts on the stationary bike, along with some other exercises to keep different grouchy parts of me from misbehaving (knee, back, etc), and I am stronger and happier. I am going to keep on plugging with the knitting, the writing, and J and I are also starting to grow seedlings for our garden this year - another creative outlet. I am excited about the first sprouts coming up - the cabbage beat all the other seeds, with the sunflowers a close second. We will see which seeds decide to sprout next. This is fun to watch.

a plot to conquer writer's block (hopefully)

I have noticed more and more how much I am doing the writer's block thing right now. I haven't gotten a lot of new stuff written in a while - I have been coasting on what I wrote with the last bout of good writing. So my plot for now is to work my way back to being able to do another good bout of writing. It feels like it is time to get the vehicle of my writing serviced - tune up type stuff. So I have printed out the rough draft so far - all of it - 116 pages single-spaced. I am reading through it right now and trying to pick out discrepancies and things that need to be fixed. I am not sure how many times I will need to read through it. Maybe this will be partly getting things in my memory correctly that I have written before. When I feel fairly confident that I have things straight there, I want to go through and make more of a plan of how I am going to work from what I have towards the rest of the story line. I want to make sure I keep myself pointed in the right direction. My goal is to get back to my daily goal of getting 2,500 words a day written. One thing I need to figure out is how to set a goal like that for editing and reviewing purposes. I am not sure if it would work better to think in terms of time spent - like setting a timer - or pages reviewed and edited. I am leaning towards the timer because it is less biased. There will be some pages that won't need more than just a quick read through, while others will need a lot more attention. So measuring my edit and review efforts with a timer seems like a better way to do it. For now I will review how much time I spend each day editing and reviewing, and go from there in deciding how much counts as a worthy goal for each day.

not meds - now what?

Well, it wasn't my meds that were off. I'm not really sure what it was. - maybe J's sinus infection and temporary sleep apnea throwing me off. I have had a lot of stuff going on that leaves me feeling really discouraged. We need a new range; ours is dying. I am still tired, and the best I can figure is that it has to do with allergies and lack of rest. J has had to work really hard, and I am just hoping that things will change soon so he doesn't have to. I have felt off and fuzzy-brained enough that I haven't gotten much writing done. I have just been napping and subsisting. I was crying a lot last night and this morning because I don't feel like I do enough to pull my own weight; I feel like a burden on those around me. I feel like it is the middle of winter again and I don't have any access to sunshine. I've been trying to write and knit and find aid in my creative outlets, but that is harder to do when I feel so fuzzy-brained. It is hard to concentrate. I have been reading more, which is something. I tend to have a harder time reading for long periods of time because my memory makes it harder to keep track of what I've read. I have been reading shorter pieces and stuff where the story line isn't as hard to follow. That is helping some. I am ready for some resolution or change soon, though. I feel like I have been at the end of my rope just hanging on for a while now.